My Favorite Lyrics – Volume 1

And by favorite,  I mean lyrics that make no sense. Or try to make sense but fail miserably. Confused? Read on, my little pumpkin, read the efff on.

Also I’ll leave Ke$ha out of this, thats a whole other bag of tricks.

The Killers – Human

Are we human?
Or are we dancer?
My sign is vital
My hands are cold
And I’m on my knees
Looking for the answer
Are we human?
Or are we dancer?

Well for me, as a sub-human ameabea, this song has never really resonated with me personally. But Brandon, if your on your knees looking for the answers, the answer is: your into dudes.

Also its Dancers, we’re dancers.

Maker Her Say – Kid Cudi (lyric quote from Kanye)

I Got Seniority, With The Sorority
So, That Explains Why I Love College
Getting Brain In The Library Cuz I Love Knowledge
When You Used Your Medulla Oblongata
And Give Me Scoliosis Until I Comatose’st
And Do While I’m Sleep, Yeah A Lil Osmosis

Woah Woah Woah, who left the high school biology textbook open in front of Kanye?

While I applaud the effort (I mean nerds are like really trendy these days), I have 3 big problems with these lyrics (and its not even Comatose’st) :

1.) Your medulla oblongata regulates all your autonomic functions, like breathing, heartbeat etc. You have no conscious control over it. If you are not using it you are dead. You might as well say “Well look at you go, being alive, oh you”

2.) MY medulla oblongata in no way can give YOU scoliosis. As that is a spinal condition you are born with.

3.) I imagine you are trying to quote the term “learn by osmosis”(that oh so clever line you use when you fall asleep on your textbooks). Ok I might be splitting hairs here but this has always been my pet peeve.  Osmosis is a process that can only occur when one of the substances is h2O. If you could learn by falling asleep on a book (but you cant, dont be stupid), that would more accurately be learning by diffusion, since neither a book or your head is purely water.

But I digress, May I suggest you READ the book Kayne (or maybe even a dictionary), then maybe these lyrics would make sense.

You Want It, I want It – The Girls Can Hear Us

You’ve Got a Body that could be on ice

Ok, so you want my kidneys and Im going to wake up in a bathtub full of ice? Or you want to kill me, preserve my body in the freezer during the day so you can cuddle it at night (Jim Morrison style). Oh young love.

Kids – Chiddy Bang

Serial style, cereal aisle need Chex

Don’t you hate it when your mom writes todo lists all over your rap lyrics napkin? me too.

‘Cause the real world’s kinda like Real World
And it’s drama so you are Svetlana and I’m just a rhymer

Real world ryhmed with….. real world….. mind blasting. Also who’s Svetlana?

Swimmin’ in the water tryin’ to dodge the piranhas and fly to Bahamas

The natural progression of any swim really. Metaphorically and literally.

I can make these rappers run like a hard drill

Ummm whaaaa?

And Xaphoone, thank you for the crack

Ohhhhhh. That explains EVERYTHING. Except how they got the rights to Kids. MGMT must know Xaphoone too.