Tired of Pumped Up Kicks Yet? Alt Summer Songs for 2k11 That Won’t Make You Commit.

Sweet Summer Jam

Every summer has a ‘song’. Yknow that one you hear over and over again on the radio. That perfect infectious jam that feels as dreamy as a beer and the sunset on the patio. But one that can keep you rallying all night until you hurl your guts out on mainstreet and not tell anyone and make the whole town wonder what sort of alcoholic degenerates are running around this once serene community.

And while it can’t be disputed that Foster The People’s ‘Pumped Up Kicks’ is this years Summer Jam, I for one, just can’t take anymore. So here’s some dreamy alternatives for those suh-uuh-merrrrr NIAAAGHHTTSSSS (tell me more, tell me mooooreeee)

The Cult’s ‘Go Outside’

The lyrics are dead on, the synth is hypnotic and dreamy and the video is weird. And possibly not the real one.  What has the world come to when I can’t trust the authenticity on Youtube. This makes me sad guys!

Friendly Fires ‘The Edge Of Glory’

Friendly Fires covers Lady Gaga and it’s pretty fun.  I like this song because I feel like I’m on the edge of glory most of the time, hopefully someday I plummet over the cliff into the depth of glory and just bask in full on glory. But like the namesake, I kinda feel like this song is just on the edge of glory, it probably needs more cowbell.

Real Estate ‘Barely Legal’

This is a Stroke’s cover. Real Estate has been getting a lot of hype lately, kind like the Strokes used to. Apparently they also have a tribute album to the Strokes, and suddenly I feel old.

Hoodie Allen ‘#whitegirlproblems’

Rapping over indie beats? Twitter and internet culture reference? The lyric ‘Kanye West has white girl problems’? Sign me up! Also Hoodie has a free mixtape out right meow if you’re picking up what he’s putting down. Check it out here http://hoodieallen.com/


Alright let’s go outside!!!


Sweet New Sounds

It may not be ‘music monday’ or even ‘new releases tuesday’ but there is no clever way to sat ‘ I’m still funemployed and today I decided to write about some new tunes’.  And by next week I’ll have forgotten or lost interest, so here goes..

First up, our fav falsetto loving emo kids, Bon Iver and ‘Calgary’

If anyone has ever been to Calgary, it’s not what you call ‘inspiring’, ‘aesthetically pleasing’ or even ‘enjoyable’. But this song is. It starts out empty and soulless, like it’s namesake, but picks up the tempo, the energy and hope. Is it 2008? because I can hear the hope!

Santogold featuring Karen o ‘Go’

Santogold, once hailed as an poor woman’s MIA, is now doing MIA better than MIA herself.  Pairing with The Yeah^3’s front lady – Karen o makes this for a solid punk inspired, tribal jam. While it’s good, I feel like it’s missing the hook that all great pop songs need. And I was kidding about the MIA thing, I just thought saying her name was like a beetlejuice thing.

Death Cab For Cutie ‘You’re a Tourist’

I took a death cab one time. I was really hungover and got into a taxi with a complete disregard for collision physics and no a/c in a tropical climate. It was terrible. This song is not. It makes me look forward to the upcoming Codes and Keys, it sounds like marriage has perked up Ben Gibbard quite a bit.

Happy Judgement Day!

Those jeans are too tight and your hair looks stupid.

No, not that kind of judgment day, it’s the BEST kind of judgment day! The world is going to end today at 6pm in your time zone! Never mind the fact that 6pm has already happened in many time zones and that the end of the world has been predicted over 200 times already, this isn’t a drill people! God’s shutting it down! So unless you’re getting raptured away,  let’s party!

It's the end of the world and he knows it

Also if you think this is real, then please, leave me your things. I’ll take good care of them.

First up, just to set the mood,  R.E.M’s ‘It’s the End Of The World’. No explanation is really needed for this one.

Next is ‘No Sex For Ben’ by The Rapture. Not only does this send two important messages – get laid today and it’s the Rapture – but this jam is a total dance party! It’s just us trash people now!

Someone recommended Blue Oyster Cult’s ‘Don’t Fear The Reaper’ because apparently this song is not about harvesting. (just me?) Can anyone listen to this and not think ‘MORE COWBELL’!

Stevie Nick’s ‘Landslide’ because apparently a big earthquake is supposed to kick us off into the black abyss and this song’s lyrics read like a poetic suicide note.

And closing us off is The Doors and ‘The End’. The Doors were always ahead of their time.

Alright guys, time to break out the window smashing bat and garbage bag and heading out for some good ol rapture looting! Or go take out loans you can’t repay and buy things on credit. Wait you’ve already done that?

Clicking My Ruby Red Slippers!

The pretty part of Canada

Well kids tomorrow’s the big day. Almost 2 years to the date and 1 globe circling later, I’m headed home. And while I have a long flight to think about what I’ve learned, the things I’ve done and seen and then I will write up all my feelings and emotions and promptly keep it to myself (this isn’t tumblr). I’m also just elated to go home again!

Where I'm from.

Not just go home but be home.  Here’s what I’m gonna be listening to over and over and over again for the next 14 hours.

‘Home’ – Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros

Yes, I know, literal day was yesterday. But still, it’s called home and it feels like home! Probably because I’m from small town Saskatchewan (like 400 people small) which for all those who don’t know is the Alabama, Arkansas of Canada.

‘Maps’ – Yeah Yeah Yeahs

The thing about Rockglen, Saskatchewan is that you had to have grown up in it to be excited about going to it – even then it’s a long shot. But I am – they don’t love you like I love you Rockglen, no one does. They don’t know what it’s like for people like us growing u– err wrong song. Moving on!

‘Young Blood’ – The Naked and Famous

This song is about two young lovers trying to relive the magic of the early part of their courtship as their relationship starts to wither and break. Which is a giant metaphor for me and life right now. Did I say life? I meant my bank account.

‘IfYou Wanna’ – The Vaccines

In this song I imagine the Vaccines is Canada, singing to me that if I wanna come back, it’s alright. I’m sorry for leaving Canada! I was young, naive, I wanted to see what else was out there! But now I know! You’re the one for me, I’ll never leave you again (unless you turn cold!). I also want health insurance again! Also I’m not sure why Canada is singing to me with a British accent…

See you in the Great White North!

Blame Canada – for being so darn lovable! (in the summer months)

And I Literally Died….

If you’re anything like me and hear literally used improperly so often that when you do see it used properly, you get so excited you literally throw yourself off an 53rd storey balcony. (That sentence saved lives..think about it).  Yknow when someone says ‘Like OMG you guys, I literally stabbed myself in the eye because it was so funny’ -you can’t help but wonder- ‘really did you? Not only does that seem excessive and stupid, you clearly have two eyes so you either have a loose grasp on the concept of ‘literally’ or your ‘eye’.

But that brings us to today’s playlist. Songs that are so literal you can’t help be nothing less than proud of yourself when you use them for their intended purpose. Don’t get it? Read on, you will literally DIE if you don’t. Srsly, this post is like one of those chain letters your aunt sends you from her hotmail account,  it can and will kill you without remorse.

First up – ‘The Bike Song’ by Mark Ronson and the Business International.

Ever since spending spring in Stockholm, all of a sudden I’m smitten with biking ( Although my love affair with alliteration spans ages). This is the perfect song, lyrics and tempo wise. I’m pretty sure I high five myself, turn my bike around and head home when this comes on the old shuffle.

‘It’s Tricky’ – Run D.M.C.

Have you ever tried to rap? Even as a joke? Then you understand this one. I always repeat this song in spoken word style when I’m consoling a friend who just lose a rap battle. Perfect every time.

‘The Festival Songs’ – Pez

Aussies love their festivals and festivals love me, so I …would love to be in Australia one summer, festival hopping. If you ever wonder what the weekend in the life of a Convict islander during the summer months, wonder no more, as this song will clear things up for you.

‘I found A Whistle’ – MGMT

I’ve never actually had the pleasure of finding a whistle but oh boy, when I do I know what I’m gonna play! I hope it’s a rape whistle!

And if you’re one of those people who use literally wrong. It’s ok, I never learned how to tie my shoes until 4th grade. But the important thing is that I did learn, and that the words you are looking for is figuratively or metaphorically.

Also, I’m leaving out ‘Friday’. I think we’ve all had enough.

Double Rainbow Song!

…cause this shit’s funny to me.

If Wordplay Is Foreplay, These Artists Have Me In Bed….

Back by popular demand – My favorite lyrics – VOLUME 2!!!

“Sorry I’m A Champion”

– Jay Z:  Lost Ones

The perfect retort when someone makes ridiculous requests or questions your outright genius. “Hey Marney, can you have this done by the end of the day?” “Hey Marney, maybe we should call it a night?” “Hey Marney, why are you drunk? At ll am? At work? Again?”

Sorry, I’m a champion.

Well that is that

And this is this

You tell me what you want

And I’ll tell you what you get

You get away from me

– Modest Mouse: Ocean Breathes Salty

This is the verse on repeat when someone is trying to propose a one-sided deal. “Hey I want you to do this work …for free?” “ Hey I want go out tonight so I can ditch you 5 min after we get to the bar to go ‘pick up bitches” “Hey let’s break up, but still be together so I can sleep with other people”

You know the type, they want this, they want that, they may even “would like” on a nice day. Here’s what they get – the hell away from me. The only parasite I keep around is the tapeworm in my intestine keeping my skinny….

“Life handed us a paycheck and we said “hey we worked harder than this!”

– Modest Mouse : Bury me With It

Lets all breathe a collective “word”. Unless you work for the government,  AIG or live in Narnia and are paid in hopes and dreams (or taxpayer dollars). You fuckers wouldn’t understand. Your probably reading this at work in between your shifts of checking facebook, staring out the window and collapsing the global economy.

“I want to grow up to be a debaser”
– Debaser The Pixies

Aim high my parents always told me. Even if you don’t reach “debaser” you’ll at least hit respectable “crackhead”. Ok they didn’t say the last sentance, I think they were more leaning towards “accountant” “lawyer” or “functioning alcoholic”. I’m 0/3 if your keeping score at home.

*ed note: I’m taking the drug reference on the term “debaser” as opposed to the Salvidor Dolli theme conspiracy.

*ed note: as well as the writer, Im the editor, rendering this ed note thing completely redundant, but I’m gonna keep going with it.

“And the answers always waiting at the liquor store…”

-Sublime: 40oz to freedom

Truer words have never been sung. How do you think this blog gets written?

“I do not need you to tell me that I’m not a cat”
– Modest Mouse: I came as a Rat

I don’t need to be reminded of the fact that I’m human on a daily basis… uh rain on my parade much. Ok whatever, so I like getting my hair played with (it feels good ok!).  Don’t judge me!

I’ll move to Paris, shoot some heroin, and fuck with the stars.

You man the island and the cocaine and the elegant cars.

-MGMT: Time To Pretend

If I had a nickel for everytime this has come out of my mouth, I’d buy ANOTHER island.…… Fuck Diego better be manning the island or there will be hell to pay once I get out of this French opiate induced haze of an orgy.

“Ground control to major tom”

-David Bowie: Space Oddity

I always sing this to people when they space out/I’m boring them with my psycho-babble. They never seem to get it though. They look at ME like I’M the crazy one.  C’mon now people.

I’m just waiting for the day when someone sings back to me “This is Major Tom to ground control, I’m stepping through the door. ……”, its gonna be a big day, I’ll probly tweet about it. Yeah it’ll be THAT big.

Well I’ve said my peace.

What are your favorite lyrics? And why? Spread your wisdom like Mel Gibson spreads hate below: