Those jeans are too tight and your hair looks stupid.
No, not that kind of judgment day, it’s the BEST kind of judgment day! The world is going to end today at 6pm in your time zone! Never mind the fact that 6pm has already happened in many time zones and that the end of the world has been predicted over 200 times already, this isn’t a drill people! God’s shutting it down! So unless you’re getting raptured away, let’s party!
Also if you think this is real, then please, leave me your things. I’ll take good care of them.
First up, just to set the mood, R.E.M’s ‘It’s the End Of The World’. No explanation is really needed for this one.
Next is ‘No Sex For Ben’ by The Rapture. Not only does this send two important messages – get laid today and it’s the Rapture – but this jam is a total dance party! It’s just us trash people now!
Someone recommended Blue Oyster Cult’s ‘Don’t Fear The Reaper’ because apparently this song is not about harvesting. (just me?) Can anyone listen to this and not think ‘MORE COWBELL’!
Stevie Nick’s ‘Landslide’ because apparently a big earthquake is supposed to kick us off into the black abyss and this song’s lyrics read like a poetic suicide note.
And closing us off is The Doors and ‘The End’. The Doors were always ahead of their time.
Alright guys, time to break out the window smashing bat and garbage bag and heading out for some good ol rapture looting! Or go take out loans you can’t repay and buy things on credit. Wait you’ve already done that?